Outcome 4 is about being able to use different strategies to revise, edit and proofread writing. Although revision is the last step to complete the paper, it is as important as the previous 3 outcomes. Earlier in this quarter, we read the article “Shitty First Draft,” in which the author introduces an effective way to start the writing. Of course this first draft won’t be the final work; moreover, it needs tons of revision. Beginning from the very first draft, all we do to produce and complete an article is to revise it, which is to improve both higher order and lower order concerns. Before I took this class, I had never revised my writing in a systematic way. What I usually did to revise my writing was just to read through it, and correct where I didn’t think the paper sounds fluent. What I improved in this class is that I learned specific ways to revise writing, and my SA 2 best exemplifies my improvement in this outcome.

In order to improve the language in writing, we discussed in class how to make writing concise and precise through effective means. And these means help me do a good job revising SA2. I did poorly in my SA 2, in which I didn’t even have a correct MLA heading and page numbers. Also, my language is vague and lacked concrete evidence to back up my points. At first, I wrote, “the tone different authors use are different.” This sentence is not specific. So, after revision, I changed the original sentence into “while Quinn et al. employ a semi-formal tone that makes their argument accessible and easy to read, Barrasso uses a more formal tone and language that ultimately strengthens his credibility and makes his argument more convincing.”  In this way, the sentence tells the audience how and why the tones of different authors are different specifically (Fan 3).

After adding evidences to SA 2, I focused on the conciseness and preciseness. By stating “Quinn et al primarily use pathos to build their article” instead of  “pathos is primarily used in Quinn et al.’s article, I changed passive voice to active voice in order to make my sentence more concise (Fan 3).

A good revision won’t take place without responding to the comments and advice instructor and peers give. I did peer reviews before in high school, but it is very different from the ones we do in this class. We would always look at each other’s lower order concerns, and ignore higher order concerns. Worse situation was that I only got a “well done” from my partner. But in this class, we learned specific ways to do peer edits such as giving fact-gathering questions that address the logistics of the assignment at hand, asking open-ended questions, and so on. However, even with the great advice peers/instructors give, if we don’t respond to those substantive issues raised by them, we are unlikely to revise our paper successfully. Although we didn't do peer review for SA 2, you gave me a lot of advice to help me revise my writing. The feedback you gave me for SA2 is “the biggest thing you need to work on is: adding evidence to back up your points about each.” Since I didn’t have enough evidence in the original writing, I added evidence to support each of my points during revision. To support the point that “even both authors rely heavily on statistical data to back up their claims, the way they present the data is different,” I inserted the following quote: “groceries cost 20% more, a gallon of gas costs 25% more, and average tuition at a community college increased 44%,” from Quinn and a diagram from Barrasso’s article to prove my point that Barrasso’s use of infographics helps make his argument more effective after revision (Fan 2).

My biggest problem is lower order concerns. For instance, I usually don’t put commas or periods inside quotation marks. Also, I struggle with the proper use of articles. After reading through the link you sent me that explains how to use articles, I understand now that “the” is used to refer to specific or particular nouns; a/an is used to refer to non-specific nouns. I made sure that these articles are correctly used in my showpiece.