Pearls need to be polished to become precious. Similar to the essays, they need to be revised to become remarkable. The last outcome asks students “to develop flexible strategies for revising, editing, and proofreading writing.” (Syllabus) Even though only one major paper is required to be revised, I chose to do all two of them. It takes a longer time, but because I’ve already revised it once for each earlier, I’m sure it’s going to be much better and fulfill the last outcome well. I uploaded all 3 drafts for each of my major paper.

In major paper 1, I was asked to write in details about how Japanese dialects relate to the characteristics of Japanese people to prove what Lera Boroditsky said. I did it in my final draft. “The Kansai Dialect has a higher tone than the Tokyo dialect, and it’s not as clear as the Tokyo dialect. Incomplete sentences also appear a lot in the Kansai Dialect… They are sloppier, more passionate, like to be casual and they talk louder. To the contrary, the Tokyo dialect is very clear and gentle, includes mostly complete sentences and has a lower tone. As a result, citizens of Tokyo are mostly very gender and polite, they don’t talk loud and they pay much attention to details.” (1) Before I revised it, I only had few sentences about the Japanese Example. It was pretty confusing to the readers how the language and the identity is related. After I revised it, it’s much clearer. This demonstrates the substantial revision.

In the first draft of major paper 2, I only proved the evidences of my arguments. But I didn’t write a counterclaim for it. My instructor suggested me to have a counterclaim in order to make my paper stronger so I did so. It is the paragraph starts with the sentence “Many people hold the idea that students should not consider the academic term as an important element when choosing a university.” (5) After provide a counterclaim, the paper becomes more complex. This responds to substantial issue raised by the instructor.

I’ve edited many errors of grammar and other lower order concerns. I wrote “An increasing number of students have the intention of going to colleges” in my first draft, and I use “college” to replace “colleges” in my second draft.  (major paper two, 1) When I was making a citation, I wrote, “Brenda Ashford explained”, I later changed it to “explains”. I’m supposed to use the simple present tense here. I made lots of this kind of revisions, if you read all my 3 drafts of the paper, you will find them easily.